I decided to play today anyway. 
I'm sorta like the mail person - you know, through wind and rain or sleet or hail (or however that goes)
I put an anchor around my neck so I wouldn’t blow away.
I have my boots on.
I hit my drive on #1 and it went over the green.
#1 is a par 4...
I guess the wind IS pretty strong.
After driving to the #2 tee, I stepped out to tee off.
A gust of wind blew me into the pond. 
So, I decided enough is enough. 
After all, I'm pretty determined.
Luckily, I had a snorkel next to my anchor.
I put my snorkel on and dived back into the pond.
I was able to find new golf balls to give to Beth, especially since they were hers anyway.
I decided to tee off on #2, a par 3, and give it a whirl.
Yes, I was slightly soaking wet but, after all, it IS worth it for golf.
So, I hit a beautiful high drive and, oops, that was a mistake.
The wind caught the ball and it landed on the #7 green.
#7 is past #8 and across the road, to the right of the maintenance shed...
I thought, aw, heck. Might as well continue and go finish the shot on #7.
To my astonishment, my ball had landed a foot from the pin!
Wow! I can do this! So, I putted from one foot. 
The wind picked the ball up, blew it backwards, over the green, over the grass and into the sand trap behind me. 
Rats.
But...I’m pretty good out of the sand.
I hit out of the sand trap, got the ball up in the air, and low and behold...
It flew over my head and into the pond behind me. BEHIND ME!
The pond is a little distance from the green, like 100 yards.
Hm. Done with that hole.
I decided I should go to #10 to tee off since it would probably land on #18 fairway. That way I would be close to home.
I made it to #10 and teed off. 
It looked like my plan would work until I heard the splash.
#18 has a pond...Rats.
By that time, my cart light started to blink so I decided it was time to go home.
Besides, I hate to play in cold, rainy weather.